Ace Attorney - 100 Things
by Atty. Afiction- Contradictions
Summary: Bored and waiting for Gumshoe to show up, the crew of the Wright Anything Agency as well as some other recognizable characters decide to 'fix' some of the profiles of the people they have met on their cases. And by some, I mean EVERY SINGLE PROFILE THEY HAVE. They have 100 stuff to say but more than a 100 people to talk about! RANDOMNESS AND OOC-NESS! Minor characters included!


**If you happen to know Victoria-White-Cat's PL fanfiction: "100 things", don't worry; I already asked her permission.**

**Everyone is OOC. As in ****_EVERYONE_****.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the fanfiction. The bird song is VENTURIANTALE'S! **

* * *

Phoenix, after a case noticed something was wrong with the file he had and went to talk to Gumshoe about it. On his way, Maya and Pearl tagged along. He tried to distract Trucy with noodles but failed miserably, he used a picture of some anime character in a magician like snow outfit. *cough*Miku*cough* She was distracted but for some reason she continued to follow him. He didn't know how to distract Pearl though so he continued walking to the precinct.

Walking in the precinct he saw Athena and Apollo in there (for some reason), both of them wanted -needed- to talk to Gumshoe but _apparently _he was 'busy' with work. So they were told to all stay in the 'waiting room' ("Since when did a waiting room exist?") and waited for Gusmhoe.

And that computer was tempting them.

That normal computer was tempting Athena to just go there, sit on the chair, and mess up the files.

Because she saw a folder on the desktop that said 'Profiles'.

She had an opportunity.

And she took it.

"Hey look! There are profiles of all the people we know from our cases! As in EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!"

"Athena," Apollo said, crossing his arms, "No."

Athena frowned, "Whyyyy nooooooottt?" "Because," Phoenix said, agreeing with Apollo "They are police files and we shouldn't be messing with them. We're _lawyers!_" Notice how he put emphasis on the word lawyers?

"Well too bad. I'm going anyway!" Athena said, going to the computer and clicking the 'Profiles' folder. Seeing the first profile, she snickered. "Look, Boss! Your profile is the first one here!" Hearing this, Trucy and Pearl looked at the screen. Immediately, both said "CLICK IT!"

And Athena did.

Apollo frowned and took a seat by the computer. "Fine," he said, smiling slightly "I'll join." the girls cheered, then all looked at Phoenix.

Phoenix grumbled.

Athena went on anyway.

"Let's change some stuff here!"

* * *

1. Phoenix Wright's ringtone is the Steel Samurai theme and still is!

Trucy smiled happily.

2. MISTER NICK IS WITH MASTER MAYA ALREADY SO NO ONE PAIR HIM WITH ANYONE ELSE!

Everyone looked at Pearl with question marks above their heads. Including Phoenix.

"What?"

3. Phoenix always says his wallet is empty because his assistant ("PARTNER~~!") kept making him buy burgers for her.

Everyone looked at Phoenix who just typed that.

"It's a profile, there should be facts listed!"

"OBJECTION!"

4. Miles Edgeworth once dared him to play Sims and marry Franziska.

"HOLD ON A MINUTE THERE! THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

"Really? You're feeling happy right now!"

"..."

5. Guess what Franziska said?

6. "Yes."

7. GASP!

8. WHERE'S THE RING?

9. HOW COME I WASN'T INVITED?

Phoenix looked at the person who typed that.

Kid wearing a yellow bow in her purple hair holding a little black kitten with her.

10. Hi.

11. Did you know that someone thinks Apollo Justice is the son of a Mr Jean Descole?

12. GASP

13. POLLY IS HALF EUROPEAN!

14. WIDGET

"Meow?"

15. He's a bird.

16. You'll never catch him.

17. You'll never catch him

18. 'Cause he's walking away...

19. And you can never... Catch... A biiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrddd! O_o

"Did Trucy just type that?"

"Trucy! Those are song lyrics! And they don't fit!"

"Well, his name is a birds!"

"No, Kamila. No."

20. He and Miles are twins.

21. Not fraternal twins.

22. Look alike twins

23. But Miles had a pool accident

"GASP!"

"WHAT HAPPENED!?"

24. He fell in a pool while doing a dare Larry told him to do.

25. He had to look fancy and had to change his hair.

" O_O "

" -_- "

"I swear, I did not tell Larry to dare him that!"

"..."

26. He was pushed into the pool while putting on hair gel.

27. it made him look fancy ever since.

Miles suddenly barged in "IT. DID. NOT. HAPPEN."

"Then why are you holding hair gel removal?"

"..."

28. Phoenix Wright's full name is actually Phoenix Robbert Wright Edgeworth.

Phoenix and Miles walked opposite directions and started looking for Gumshoe.

"Bo-?" "NOPE. NEVER. NADA. NEVERINAMILLIONYEARS ATHENA SALLY MINERVA CYKES. NOPE."

... "How did he know my real name?"

... "What?"

29. Phoenix Wright was 29 years old 5 years ago.

"That means Mister Wright 34! HE IS OLD!" ...

Kamila was found by Detective Jowd and left.

30. Phoenix Wright is paired with Franziska von Karma.

"We quite get that already, Athena."

31. Manfred does not approve

"Well, he should."

"Why?"

"Because," ... "Because."

32. Feenie and Dollie sittin' on a tree!

33. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

"NO! MISTER NICK IS WITH MYSTIC MAYA!"

"..."

"I mean Master Maya."

"..."

34. Nope. Poor her.

Pearl goes to the corner and cries.

35. Mr Wright is secretly the 13th Doctor.

36. I found the TARDIS in his closet.

"One, that is not possible. Two, why did you look into his closet?"

"..." Athena whispers innocently.

37. Mr Wright watches Venturiantale and writes fanfictions about the VenturianTale siblings going into MineCraft and finding Herobrine

38. Then he makes HomelessGoomba walk around Herobrine while planting TNT everywhere.

39. Then he'll make it all EXPLODE

40. AND BILL HAWKS WILL DIE

41. HE'LL DIE IN THE EXPLOSION WITH THE SAME CAUSE OF DEATH AS THE TEN PEOPLE HE KILLED

42. AND NO ONE WILL ATTEND HIS FUNERAL

43. NOT EVEN HIS WIFE

44. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Everyone looked at Pearl, who just typed that. "Pearl, are you sure that isn't you?" "I'm sure." "YOU'RE LYING! CONFESS THE TRUTH! YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIE TO APOLLO JUSTICE! NEVE-" "We get it."

45. 'CAUSE I'M A BIRD

"No."

46. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

47. EVERYTHING IS COOL WHEN WE'RE PART OF THE TEAM

48. EVERYTHING IS AWESOME

49. WHEN WE LIVE IN A DREAM

"STOP PUTTING IN SONG LYRICS, TRUCY!"

50. No.

51. TORINOKO

52. TOKYO TEDDY BEAR

53. CAPRICCIO FARCE

54. PUKE YELLA!

"..."

55. So far, none of this seems to make any sense, what so ever.

56. I hope you're reading this Simon Blackquill.

57. Because I ship BlackquillxCykes.

"I am reading this and I do not approve of that pairing."

... "You're creepy."

58. So are you.

"I'M NOT CREEPY!" Pearl cried out from the corner. Apollo sighed, "Come on back, Pearl." "*sniff* Thanks." "Do you still ship Phaya?" "Yes." "GO BACK TO THE CORNER!"

59. So that everyone is happy, let's read a fanfiction about Apollo being shipped and paired with EVERYONE

60. EVERYONE INCLUDING CHARLIE THE POTTED PLANT!

"NO."

Two seconds later, Apollo is seen crying beside a potted plant.

61. I ship Evil!Phoenix and Maya.

62. It seems so fitting.

63. But no one did that yet.

64. I'll go cry in the corner now.

And Blackquill was seen crying in the 3rd corner of the room being comforted by his hawk.

65. Phoenix wants to see if Layton's hat would fall off.

66. It was never removed in their game.

"Game..?"

67. Phoenix appeared in Ace Attorney

68. Phoenix appeared in Justice for All

69. Phoenix appeared in Trials and Tribulations

70. Phoenix appeared in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney

71. Phoenix appeared in Ace Attorney Investigations

72. Phoenix appeared in Ace Attorney Investigations II

73. Phoenix appeared in Professor Layton vs. Phoenix Wright

74. Phoenix appeared in Marvel vs. Capcom

75. Phoenix appeared in a lot of games.

76. Phoenix is famous.

"Athena, we don't know what you're talking about. Stop it."

Athena looked around shiftily, was she the only person in the room who knew that they didn't exist, and are in a series of best-selling games next to Professor Layton but has more fanfictions than he does..?

Nope. She didn't know what she was talking about, either. ((A/N: Sorry, Victoria-White-Cat. I kinda took that scene from chapter 4.))

77. I'm running out of ideas.

78. Let's start mentioning random pairings that involve Phoenix.

79. Let's start with this,

80. Phaya

"YAY!"

81. Phia

"What?"

82. Wrightworth

"NEVER! NEVER! NEV-" "Oh, keep quiet Pearl. We don't even know why you're here in the first place!"

83. Aponix

"..."

84. Phoenix Wright's mom is actually Lynne from Ghost Trick.

85. And Phoenix isn't related to Edgeworth, by the way.

"WE ALREADY KNEW THAT!"

86. You did? Good. I'm pleased.

"YOU'RE NOT BRITISH"

87. And I don't care.

"STOP TYPING AS IF YOU'RE THE COMPUTER, WIDGET!"

88. Let's watch Hetalia. Perhaps an episode with 2P!Characters?

"NO! NO! PLEASE NO!" Athena and Apollo pleaded.

Widget continued to put the data in the computer. Don't ask how, he's doing it.

89. Poppet.

90. 'Cause he's a bird.

"You know what? Forget it. Let's not object to Trucy typing VENTURIANTALE lyrics. They're nice, anyways!"

91. I'M A BIRD

92. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME

93. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME

94. 'CAUSE I'M WALKING AWAY

95. AND YOU'LL NEVER. CATCH. A BIRD.

96. Now, wasn't that relaxing?

"Yes. Actually, I feel happy now and I forgot why I was crying." Said Simon to Trucy, who was smiling happily.

97. Phoenix Wright's spikes are natural.

98. However, Apollo uses hair gel.

99. He cheated.

100. Phoenix just asked Maya if she would marry him.

* * *

Everyone was happy and waited for Phoenix (and Miles) to come back so they may write down the list of Mia Fey.

* * *

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT SOUND LIKE IT BELONGS TO ME...


End file.
